Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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