so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
