last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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