I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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