hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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