i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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