Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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