Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
