So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
