my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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