YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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