So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
