there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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