I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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