I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
