after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
