Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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