yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize