please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
