"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do vagina's smell?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
