Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
