I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
sex in a hospital.. check
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
