We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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