I'm eating all of the evidence.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
