hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
