Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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