Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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