I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
