Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
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Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
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The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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