so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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