my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I skipped work to stalk him.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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