it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
