I'm gonna have a badass scar
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
