Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
