i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my being single is dangerous.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
