I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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