"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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