some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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