Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm too high and old for this...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
