I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
