Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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