i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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