i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
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I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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