How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
