How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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