life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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