Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
