med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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