I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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