So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
