i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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