you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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