you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
