its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
