Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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