I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
