this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
soo... how was my night?
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