Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
