God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
