guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
the raccoons are back...
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