Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize