You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
