First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize