he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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