how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize