I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize
